Locker 2375 c20

We Blinked.

There we were, standing with our backs against the wall, staring at the crack of light coming through the door, waiting.

It was odd that the light was shining directly onto the locker and exactly onto the nameplate, Geyomi.

I was counting, I thought in my head, until Kevin elbowed me and let out a big Shhhhhhhhh.

“What do you think, are we safe for now”, Omar said looking more worried than usual.

Then, from deep in the filter room we heard the sound of a door opening and what sounded like cans falling from a shelf.

Then we heard a muffled voice, “ouch who moved the shelf”.

We all looked at each other with that look that says,” you have to be kidding.”

The voice was very familiar, almost too familiar, but none of us could put our finger on it.

Then we heard the voice again, “ouch who put that chair there”.

“I think its Mr. Smith”, Sam said holding his head in his hands.

Kevin took a deep breath and looked at Omar and said,” I bet if we just stand here, as quiet as we can, Mr. Smith will not even notice us!”

“Unless he walks past us and walks into the locker”, I said knowing that Mr. Smith was sometimes not the sharpest tack in the box.

Omar leaned forward and looked back at all of us and said “I don’t want to hear anything from anyone, not even your eyelashes as you blink”.

Oh ohh, now I knew this wasn’t good, I could feel a little tickle in my nose and that was always a sure sign that I was about to sneeze!

A normal sneeze wouldn’t have been such a problem BUT my sneezes seemed to have turned into something that sounded like a foghorn on an ocean liner lately.

Kevin could see what was coming and as quick as lightening his hand was over my mouth and nose just in time to catch my sneeze and what could have only looked like toxic slime.
At the top of his lungs Kevin shouted, “Max that is soooo disgusting, soooo gross”, as he tried to wipe the sticky green nose goo on my back.

“Guys”, Omar said glaring at us.

Before we could get ourselves composed Mr. Smith was standing directly in front of us.

We stood just like statues not moving, not even blinking hoping he would not notice us.

We probably would have gotten away with it if Ana Montana hadn’t called us on the snot-talkie, “guys, Guys, GUYS where are you, you won’t believe this”?

At that exact moment the lights in the room came on and all of us were looking at each other in a state of shock.

I didn’t even know the room had lights!

I am not sure who was more surprised, us or Mr. Smith.

Mr. Smith was standing in front of us holding his shoes and a bag of sliced oranges.

We looked at Mr. Smith and then at the oranges.

“They are for he garlic problem, would you like a slice”, Mr. Smith said as his face turned a bright shade of red.

“Hold it boys”, Mr. Smith said looking at us very suspect, “you are all suppose to be in detention!

“March”, he said and motioned for us to head towards the door, which his back was facing.

As we all lifted our heads, blinking our eyes from the bright lights, and looked towards the door we must have all gasped because Mr. Smith said, “boys I have smelt way worse than my shoes so give it up”.

But what made us gasp was the fact that the locker was gone!

As we headed out the door Omar reached down and grabbed the scrap of paper that was sitting on the floor where the locker had been.

As he turned it over it had one word on it, close.

We were marched back up the stairs and through the hall.

Everything looked pretty normal, even the commandos seemed to be gone.

As we approached the nurses room we were all waiting for Mr. Smith to say something, but he just kept motioning for us to keep walking.

And there against the wall stood Locker #2375, standing like it had never been moved.

But what we were all wondering was what we were going to do about the book, we still didn’t have it and had no idea where it might be.

The snot-talkie went off again, “guys see you in detention, Brandon and I were busted and you won’t believe what we have found”.

As we were marched down the stairs Mr. Tonofhomework and Mr. 1/2amolecule missing were both standing at the detention room door.

The three musketeers of the school administration looked at each other and then focused on Omar and said, “we have all been looking for you”.

“How did you do it”, Mr. ½amolecule missing said looking at us.

We all had blank looks on our faces because we were not sure exactly which it he was talking about.

“Into the detention room you all go, this is not over yet”, all three of the musketeers followed us in and waited for us to be seated.

Again we all let out the king of gasps as we walked into the room.

There in front of us was the book!

Ana and Brandon looked at us with blank faces, shrugging their shoulders as if to say, “did you guys find the book and bring it back”, of course we all knew that we had nothing to do with the book’s return.

Then Mr. Smith picked up the book and dropped it open on the 2nd to last page that had been missing and there was the missing page, crumpled but there.

All that was missing from the page was the one word that Omar had in his pocket from the filter room.

And what did the page say when you added the one missing word?

We all looked at the page and read the words, “close to perfect is saying sorry”.

Then they all looked at us and said in unison,” it is not over just yet!”

THE END…for now

No Key.

There was Ana jumping, dancing and singing, on her make shift stage, just like Hanna Montana.

People who were coming into the foyer to check out the commotion did double takes because of Ana’s resemblance to the real Hanna Montana.

Even Brandon got into the act and was on stage beside Ana playing a mean guitar.

Of course Ana had a small button on her suspenders that said she was Ana Montana NOT Hanna, but what’s the difference the school was in frenzy and the commandos who had descended on the locker were now in the foyer.

We had a window of opportunity.

There we were sitting in the nurse’s room tapping our toes when Omar came racing through the door and shouted, “ Hey wake up this is no time to be taking in the show we have a locker to sort out!”

Omar looked out of the doorway and signaled that the coast was clear.

As we streamed out of the nurses room the commandos were standing as close as they could to the stage, toes a tapping, as Ana broke into a lively rendition of Hoedown Throwdown.

Ana gave a look in our direction, winked, and then started singing, “ boom boom clap boom de clap de clap…”

The crowd was growing around the stage and wouldn’t you know it, there were those students again selling ice cream and candy-floss.  How is it that whenever there is a spontaneous gathering at the school these students are there selling snacks?

There we were standing in front of the locker, #2375, and Omar held out his hand waiting for the key.

Something just didn’t seem right.

I couldn’t put my finger on what was odd about my locker but there was something different about it.

Sam seemed to also clue in to the fact that something was wrong, because he was looking at the locker as if it was a Where is Waldo book as well.

Omar shook his hand and waited for the key.

There was a moment of fear as I reached around my neck to retrieve my locker key from the mess of keys and key chains I wear.

There was nothing there!

All of the blood must have run out of my face because Sam asked if I had seen a ghost.

“Max give him the key Ana is almost done the song and it looks like the commandos are getting restless”, Sam said nudging me with his elbow.

“The key isn’t around my neck”, I said in a moment of panic.

“Remember you took the key off your keychain and placed it in the sole of your shoe when we first saw the commandos in case we were made”, Sam said looking at me as if I had completely lost my mind.

I pulled off my shoe and Omar and Sam almost fell to the floor.

“Max, your shoes smell AWFUUUUUL”, Omar said trying to stop the tears from running down his face.

“Max your shoes smells like garlic”, Sam looked at Omar and me as if another piece of the puzzle was coming together.

Indeed my shoes did smell like garlic, 100 cloves of garlic crushed and spread between my toes, it was truly awful.

But there had been no smell when I put the key into my shoe, only after the key was removed!

There was only one other person who had a bad garlic foot odor problem and that was Mr. Smith!

And as I remember now he also walked with a limp, a very subtle limp.

Holding his nose Omar reached for the key and then stopped in his tracks.

That was it.

That was what was different, what had changed.

Yes Locker #2375 was my locker and yes we were standing in front of it but there was no place to put the key!

Omar gingerly put his hand on the lockers door and pulled but it was clearly locked and needed a key, but there was no place to put the key!

Ana was winding down her song looking at us in despair because she only had 3 songs in her show and she was 1 minute from being done!

The commandos who had bolted from the locker seemed to be getting restless, and were listening intently to their headsets apparently taking on instructions because in unison they turned and looked in the direction of us and the locker.

“Ok we have no time and we have no way of getting into this locker but we need to” I said looking at Omar and Sam.

“Our only option is to move the locker to a safe place where we can figure out how to open it and deal with what might or might not be inside” I sounded very confident even though there was no plan.

Omar knelt down and motioned to Sam and I to tilt the locker onto his back.

Just then Kevin came running into the hallway and said, “ you have 15 seconds before the commandos are back here they are on the move let me help.”

Kevin knelt behind Omar and between the two of them they were able to grasp and balance the locker on their heads.

We could hear the crowd erupt with applause in the foyer and over that we could here the clatter of feet and equipment as the commandos came to the realization that they had been outsmarted by a bunch of students.

“Guys start moving and fast”, came the cry from Sam, “we have company at 5’ocock!”

If you tossed a sheet over Omar and Kevin they would have looked like a snufoluocus from Sesame Street, lumbering down the hall.

Both Sam and I were just about to break into hysterics as we followed Kevin and Omar when Omar bellowed,” the door, get the door!”

“Where are we going” Kevin said trying to get Omar’s attention.

“We need to get this locker to a safe hiding place so we can get into it and protect it from those commandos who also seem to be keenly interested in what ever is inside” Omar said as if he was talking to a bunch of kindergarten students.

Picking up speed we descended the stairs into the bowels of the swimming pool filter room and the locker slid off of Omar and Kevin’s heads making an awful clang and crash to the bottom of the stairs landing jut inside the doorway upright with its door facing us but without a single scratch or dent.

And there the locker stood just past the door with enough clearance for us to shut the door and wait to see if the commandos were following us.

Locker 2375 c18

Hanna Montana Saves the Day.

We were trapped!

We couldn’t leave the nurses room through the main entrance because of the SWAT team in the hall!

The 10 tactical commandos who had descended upon my locker with fire extinguishers and cans of whip cream were focused, sharp, and waiting for the command to execute their mission.

Who knows what that might be!

Nathaniel was watching the commandos using a micro mirror that was attached to a collapsible wire extension rod.

“They have a state of the art communication system, GPS, some kind of signal shield and high frequency location devices, these guys are really pros”, Nathaniel said as he pulled the mirror back and sat down on the recovery cot looking very distracted.

Without prompting Kimberlee and Miguel hopped into the door to the nurses room, Kimberlee took one look at Nathaniel and made the hand signals to show she would create another distraction for another month of lunches bringing the count up to 2 months.

As fast as we could all shake our heads in agreement the mimes were off!

Nathaniel quickly deployed a micro video surveillance camera that looked remarkably similar to June Bug, one of those big round rust coloured beetles that can fly but would rather walk.

The camera was giving us full video of what was going on with only minor disruption that Sam figured had to be coming from the communication net of the commandos.

Our mouths all fell wide open as we saw Miguel do the most impressive cartwheel into the middle of the commandos and then out of nowhere Kimberlee came tumbling with an impressive volley onto the shoulders of Miguel!

Then the two mimes proceeded to pretend that they were pirates on a galley looking for a lost treasure.

“Oh oh… this is not looking good”, Sam began to mumble under his breath.

One of the commandos was backing up from the rest taking a good look around as if he suspected that the two mimes were some sort of distraction.

Sam frantically sent the command to the remote June Bug Cam to reverse it but the Commando was too fast and the screen of the PC was a sea of snow and as I poked my head around the corner I could see the commando looking under his shoe to see what he had stepped on.

As with all good technological inventions that comes out of the collective genius of Sam, Ana, Kevin, Omar, Nathaniel, Brandon and now me, there was a micro vial of green goo built into the cam that looked and smelled like Gerber’s mushy peas baby food, after it had been eaten and digested by a baby.

The look on the face of the commando, well his eyes that was all we could see, told us he was disgusted by the mess and didn’t suspect for a minute that we had the commandos under surveillance!

Before Miguel and Kimberlee could break into their second act the biggest commando, he looked remarkably similar to a cross between Blue from Jungle Book and the incredible hulk, grabbed them both around the waist and hauled them off in the direction of the school pool.

Here we were trapped without a plan and we needed to get into the locker before the commandos, although we had no idea what we might find!

Just as I was about to open my mouth my phone began to ring.

All our eyes were as wide as pie plates as the ring was getting progressively louder and louder.

The ringtone to my custom hybrid phone, a really cool phone that was still in prototype phase at the MIT Media Lab, didn’t just ring but project whatever the tone was in a 3D likeness on the floor 2 feet in front of the phone!

So of course I had the theme of Star Wars as my ringtone and what was being projected?

Obviously Chewbacca dancing with Darth Vader!

The problem with this new phone is it projects the image through walls and it puts that image 2 feet in front of the phone.

In this case the timing was all-wrong and the image was projected through the wall of the nurses office directly in front of the commando who had so unfortunately stepped on the June Bug Cam.

I am not sure who was more surprised, me or the guard who had a very authentic life size 3D image of Chewy and Darth Vader dancing in front of him.

I answered the phone as fast as I could hoping the commando would think he was imagining things, I crossed my fingers and toes for added luck.

“Tod you won’t believe how bad your timing is” I said into the phone.

Tod and I had gone to another school together way back but now met at scouts every Thursday and we were now collaborating on a micro go-cart powered by human generated methane, better known as fart gas.

“Max I just had a break through” Tod had been working for weeks on the necessary food combination to generate maximum gas with the minimum sound.

“Max, Mean Beans and pickled walnuts all covered in a mild honey and marmite mixture seems to deliver a sufficient quality of gas on a consistent basis” I could hear the excitement in Tod’s voice.

Usually I would be very excited but I was a bit distracted, “Tod I have a bit of an issue to work through here can I call you back?”

I hung up without waiting for a response.

Then almost as fast as the commandos had arrived they were running towards the main foyer of the school as were what seemed every student and teacher in the place.

Sam looked down at his communication watch that just registered an encrypted message and whispered,” Ana has a plan!”

Ana was also known as a master of disguise, once she even imitated the French teacher Ms. Mouldybaguette and got away with it!

Sam quickly tapped his laptop computer and brought up the main foyer security camera on his screen and true to form there was Ana standing on a makeshift stage looking exactly like Hanna Montana and singing The Climb!

We all took a second look, Ana had outdone herself!

“Quick we have a window”, Sam shouted!

Locker 2375 c17

Saved by a mime.

Nathaniel grabbed me by the collar and pulled me as if he was trying to uproot a weed!

The lights in the room changed from the normal daylight white to a dim yellow, and there was this persistent beeping, the kind that happens when a microwave oven is finished cooking.

I looked over at the microwave oven, it was not on, the sound had to be coming from someplace else.

That was when the light went from a dim yellow to red and that was the exact moment that Nathaniel and I jumped through the door just as a solid sheet of Plexiglas slid down and separated the hallway from the lab.

At that moment there was a hissing, screaming and clanging sound as the lab, which we could see through the glass, filled with sanitizing seltzer steam and a series of laser trackers were activated.

And that was when we froze in our tracks!

On the floor of the lab there was what looked like a train making a familiar sound.

Nathaniel leaned into the glass and took a good look.

“Max when was the last time you were in detention?”

I looked at Nathaniel as if he was mad, “when was the last time you were in detention”, he asked again.

“Today, why?”

Two lights came on as I asked the question.

One light was inside my head and the other was inside the lab from some kind of tracking system that Mr. ½amoloculemissing had set up to keep his home and castle safe from the likes of, well students I suspect.

“Do you hear that sound?”

I did hear a sound, it was very familiar, “Nathaniel is that the sound that we hear coming from the floor in detention?”

I looked at my watch, “and this is the time that we usually hear that sound!”

Suddenly the steam in the lab was totally obscuring the little train and there was a loud bang from inside the lab.

At that exact moment the exhaust fans kicked in and the general security alarm system in the school began to scream.

What we could see as the steam was sucked out of the room was an empty net on the floor.

Well the net was almost empty there was a piece of paper on the floor, and it looked like it was pinned to the net.

Again there was screaming in our ears from Sam!

“You have 5 seconds before the security officers are at the door, you guys are toast!”

It was a stroke of luck that Kimberlee and Miguel just happened to be coming towards us and that they were in their mime club costumes!

There were only 2 mimes at our school and Kimberlee and Miguel were they.

Every week at the school assembly they would stand at the entrance, or on the stage, and once they hung from the ceiling, entertaining the school as a prelude to what was usually as enjoyable as a root canal.

Nathaniel grabbed both of them and said, “Please can you guys do a mime performance that might look like 2 mad scientists inventing an exploding toilet?”

Kimberly looked at Miguel and they both shrugged their shoulders and began to act like Mr. 1/2amoloculemissing after he had 2 Red Bull Sodas too many.

Then Miguel and Kimberlee stopped and looked at Nathaniel, “this is going to cost you lunch for both of us and ice cream ALL MONTH!”

Given that we were in no position to bargain, and knowing that Ana had figured out some way to preprogram the cafeteria pre-order system to deliver bargain priced lunches there was not an instant of hesitation and Nathaniel threw out his hand to cement the deal.

The mime team hadn’t been at it a second before 5 members of the school security squad seemed to come out of nowhere and push us all aside.

Charles looked at us and shook his head.

“Can’t you students think of any better place to be playing around? This is no place for two mimes and an audience of two to be hanging about so move on!”

Miguel and Kimberly looked at each other, went back-to-back and then preceded to do summersaults like a giant wagon wheel down the hall.
Charles took one look at us and said, “you two not hear me the first time?”

That was our cue and in our ears we heard Sam again, “out of there quick before Charles figures it out!”

Just in front of the nurses office Nathaniel and I stopped to catch our breath.

Of course this is dangerous territory given the close proximity to the staff room.

Nathaniel took one look and noticed that Ms. Shelley was gone, that was a good sign.

The snot-talkies came to life and Nathaniel and I both reacted as if we had sat on a tack, we jolted to attention.

“Guys that piece of paper that was in the net in the lab, well we have a problem.”

When Sam said there was a problem there really was a problem.

“We managed to use the power of all of the schools laptops, connected in series, to boost the pixel image of that piece of paper that we photographed using our tap into the schools security webcams”, Sam was really getting into this.

I am not sure why we were talking on the snot-cams given Sam was sitting on the recovery cot in the nurses room.

Sam figured that out and signaled us to come behind the curtain.

There on the cot was a military grade micro-laptop, a prototype courtesy of Ana’s cousins in Miami.

Sam looked at us, “All it says is Geyomi and 2375!”

Nathaniel for the first time was looking distracted and worried.

That was when I heard the running and commotion in the hall.

At least 10-armed security guards were descending on my locker and taking up tactical positions, with what looked like fire extinguishers and cans of whipping cream!

The Lost Page…

“For months we have been living in detention hoping to discover something, anything, that might help us unlock this riddle and only now, after all this time you find a page missing from the instruction book Sam”, Omar was gently banging his head on the table in disbelief.

Brandon took a good look at the book and confirmed it,” yup the 3rd to last page is missing!”

Ana came a lot closer and opened a Tupperware container of strawberries that instantly filled the room with the hot warm smell of a summer day in Canada, maybe even at Quinn’s Farm where the strawberry picking is beyond compare.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, and that was not very much, and stared at Ana.

For a second it was as if everyone was calculating how fast they could pin down Ana and grab the food.

Myself, for a split second, had another idea!

If I got as much spit on my finger as possible and wedged it into Ana’s ear I could probably distract her long enough to allow Sam to snatch the berries.

The only problem with the plan, and the reason I abandoned it, was the fact that there was no place to run and Ana would make me pay for the wet Willie!

I think I blinked 3 times and the berries were gone from the room, but not the smell though.

Our collective attention returned to the book.

“How did you miss that Omar”, Ana asked wiping a tiny black strawberry seed from the side of her mouth.

“I have been asking myself that”, Omar said scratching his head maybe a little bit too hard.

The head scratching went on for some time, the rest of the gang began to get a bit worried and remembered the time David loaned everyone his bathing cap and then came to school bald because he had head lice.

Omar finally stopped scratching but everyone continued to maintain a safe distance knowing full well that head lice can and will jump for a new head, or as we learned in science class, looking for a bit of a vacation.

Just as the gang was refocusing on the book the water machine that was blocking the door began to rumble.

“Uhhh we are all here aren’t we”, Sam asked doing a quick head count.

“Max who did you tell”, Ana asked pointing a long finger covered with strawberry at me.

“Nobody, I was running here with Omar”, everyone looked at me and then looked up at the passage.

There was no question the machine was getting ready to move and there was only one small problem, there was no other way in or out of the hiding place!

“You can’t tell me that you hadn’t planned for the possibility of a break in to this place,” I said with that dazed and confused look once again.

“ Oh we have a plan Max the problem is we have never actually tried it in battle field conditions so we are not totally sure how it is going to work.” Brandon said moving closer to the fridge.

I was sure I heard the words battlefield conditions but was not at all sure what Brandon was talking about.

Nathaniel jumped into action and very quickly unclipped a very thin piece of slate that was fixed to the ceiling at the top of the stairs.

Backing the stale veneer was a thick piece of polystyrene, which I just noticed.

The face of the slate was painted to look just like a piece of dirty concrete.

“Are we ready to put the mock cover in place Nathaniel”, Omar shouted.

“I have been ready for 6 months”, Nathaniel said with a cheeky little grin.

“Then fasten the decoy flooring into place”, Omar shouted instructions with authority and a hint of fear in his voice.

Nathaniel was back down to the stone table faster than I had ever seen him move.

Ana was busy looking at her watch and then I realized she wasn’t looking at her watch but at a small LCD display screen that I could only assume had somehow been synched with the school security monitoring system and was feeding images to her.

“We have a problem”, Ana said with a hint of worry in her voice and a bead of sweat running down her face.

“The machine is defiantly moving and the cafeteria has filled up with people, but as far as I can see there is not a single person near the water machine AND it has a huge out of order sign on it”, Ana said.

Everyone looked at each other with a bit of panic in their eyes like the time the school sprinkler system had been set to go off 12 minutes after the students had left for the day but the teachers would be well into a staff meeting.

But as luck would have it Mr. Ellis in his previous role as technology maverick had come to the school to try and make the electronic timing system work better.

Unfortunately he was using a watch that had been left beside a swimming pool and not only had it gotten a bit damp but somehow a jam sandwich had fallen on it and the sticky blueberry jam had obstructed the view of the face of the watch and also acted as a sealant not allowing the water to escape from inside the watch.

So Mr. Ellis messed up the clock and everyone got soaked.

“Plan Ellis everyone”, Omar said a bit hesitantly.

Ana picked up a small box that looked like it could have some gum inside it and dropped it to the floor and stomped on it, very hard.

Sam tossed rain ponchos around the room and in less than 5 seconds the fire alarms around the school were going off.

Ana looked at the LCD screen on her watch, “the water has started!”

Sam grabbed the detention book and we all made for the stairs.

Joining the 5

The red light was flashing, like a neon sale sign, above the door of the principal’s office.

With a loud clinking sound, the type you hear when a bicycle chain needs oil, and the sucking of air almost like a half full balloon being let go, the door to the hidden chambers opened.

The chambers are not really hidden or chambers but the vault door did swing open revealing the offices of the principal, vice principal, curriculum coordinators and the staff room.

It is rare to see this door unlocked and even more rare to be able to see inside.

What was even stranger was the fact that the place was emptying faster than when the teachers are allowed to go on summer vacation.

I was about to stop and ask if Marco had brought ice cream for the school again, but just as I broke pace Omar tugged on my shirt collar, “no time to stop Max RUN!”

I don’t think I have ever run so fast.

Out the back doors we went, around the corner to the shaded space between the fields and swimming pool and then into the cafeteria.

Once in the cafeteria Omar put some change into the water machine, the one that has never worked, and pushed 5 of the choice buttons to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm.

Then, Omar gave the machine a good strong kick the sound you would expect from the door of a drawbridge being lowered could be heard coming from deep within the floor.

Then like magic the machine tilted and just visible under the machine was a steep staircase heading down under the cafeteria.

The rest of the group as if by instinct ducked their heads and quickly proceeded down the staircase.

“Max if you show anyone or tell anyone about any of this you will be stuck in this grade for the rest of your life”, Omar said looking at me with eyes that said he was serious.

I just nodded and followed Omar down the stairs, out of nowhere Ana came up behind me and pulled on a cord that made the water machine cover the hole.

When we reached the bottom what I was looking at was a room no larger than 10 meters by 20 meters with a big table off to one side, a few bean bag chairs in front of a huge TV hanging off the wall and a glass fronted fridge full of soda and what looked like cream stuffed cakes against the other wall.

“What is this place”, I asked looking around at the 5 students who I took to be this secret undercover team of student operatives.

Omar was about to answer when Brandon came out of the shadow beside the fridge eating a cream filled donut.

“Max I am glad we can finally talk to you about all this”, Brandon said wiping cream off of his face with the bottom of his shirt.

“For the last 18 months the group of us here have been working to uncover something odd here at the school”, Brandon said looking at the rest of the group.

Then as if they had been released from a spell the group became super relaxed and headed for the bean bags and the fridge.

“Max, individually at first very soon after we started coming to this new school, we each began to notice strange things going on that we could not totally explain and that to most people thought were just funny coincidences”, Brandon was now slowly pulling me over to the fridge out of the noisy area in front of the TV which was playing a rerun of Kim Possible.

“Brandon I have been noticing these things also”, I said.

“Ana and Kevin have been watching and working with you Max BUT until the locker contents moved and the toilet incident we were not sure if you were also part of this, well this phenomenon that seems to be focused on this school”, Brandon said with a little grin on his face.

“Boy did Ms. Shelley smell bad”, Brandon said with a chuckle.

“One by one the group you see here was drawn together and when we started to talk about some of the strange things happening, like the locker contents switching, we realized there was something going on”, Brandon said.

“Nathaniel found this place 3 weeks before school started when he was here on campus with his Mom”, Brandon took a good look around and continued.

“first he found the detention hole then the principal’s vault and Nathaniel could see that this was not your normal school and while he was trying to hide from the security guards he wandered into the cafeteria as it was being remodeled and fell through the floor onto the stairs and into this room” Brandon took a good look around.

“Of course there was a little fixing up to do, but we had this place to call our mission control center”, Brandon looked at me as if to ask if I had any questions.

“So how do I fit in”, I asked looking what I am sure was a dazed and confused expression.

Omar came out of know where and gently pulled me into a chair at the huge table that I am not sure how they ever got into the room as it appeared to be one solid piece of stone!

“Max you seem to be very close to where this phenomenon is coming from”, Omar was looking at me as if expecting an answer.

Just as I was about to open my mouth Sam came rushing over and dropped the detention manual on the table with a huge pounding echo like a basketball being tossed against a wall.

“I think I have found something we have overlooked” Sam said rather pleased with himself.

The 3rd to last page was missing!

All that was in the book was the top ½ of the title of the page, each page had a title, and this one looked like it said exit strategy.

Snot-talkie.

Seconds before the entire school seemed to explode into a flurry of chaos, Omar stuck something that looked like a shriveled booger into his ear.

“Men, catch”, Omar said in an uncharacteristically loud voice.

Omar flicked what looked like a booger at Sam and I.

When I got the thing in my hand I realized that this was not a booger at all, but some sort of earpiece.

“What you are holding in your hands are the smallest walky-talkies ever made and we did it here in secret in the DT/science/ICT and Arabic labs”, from the look on Omar’s face it was pretty clear that he was proud of these high-tech marvels and that he was willing to make our lives miserable if we did not follow his every instruction.

“We call them snot-talk”, Omar waited for one of us to laugh but with faces like stone we kept our eyes on Omar and waited for further instructions.

“Squeeze the snot-talk as hard as you can between your thumb and index finger and then stick it as far into your ear as you can”, I looked at Omar with a worried scrunched up face.

“Don’t worry we tested the idea on our brothers, sisters and sleeping parents. After a lot of failures we came up with these fantastic prototypes that simply dissolve into harmless ear wax after 24 hours exactly”, WOW Omar had a whole other life just like Kevin and Ana.

“And Yes Max I know you are thinking that Kevin and Ana are also up to some pretty cool stuff and yes we are part of the same covert ops student group.”

Sam had a look on his face that said he wanted to know what Omar was talking about but that he realized this was not the time or place to ask. I could see him making a mental note to come back to this conversation later.

“Men get ready”, Omar said with his eyes fixed on Mr. Smith.

The foyer of the school was chaos.

Students were running holding their noses.

The team of gas distracters, in unison, pulled snot-talk’s from their pockets, pinched them between their thumbs and index fingers and stuffed them deep into their ears.

Sarah saw the booger like things being pushed into the ears of the boys and had to run for a garbage can as her lunch was well on its way up from its resting place in her stomach.

Ana and Kevin had taken up strategic posts.

Ana was standing at the top of the stairs with a clear sightline between the front corner of the foyer and the detention cave door.

Kevin had strategically placed himself in front of the double think reinforced doors, with what looked like a combination lock tumbler in the middle, as you might see on bank vaults in old movies.

I had always wondered why the curriculum coordinators, principals and faculty lounges were located behind what appeared to be a blast proof door that could stop anything!

As the school seemed to descend into madness a flashing red light went on above the administration’s vault door.

Nathaniel and his team were too busy giving each other high fives to see the school security team coming out of every nook and crevice and they had their sights trained on Nathaniel.

The front left corner of the school foyer is the site of the schools environmental security system, something that intrigued and excited students form the moment it appeared 5 weeks ago.

The big question on most student’s minds was why do we need an environmental security system at all?

Students could be seen looking quizzically at the environmental security system at all times of the day but nobody seemed to think much about it and I suspect figured that we needed this system because of the science labs on level one of the school.

A handful of students, all who had to have been part of the covert ops student group, had been looking at the gas detection system with particular interest and scheming about how to use it for their own purposes.

Only now do I know that for weeks in science class members of the covert ops student group had been using Google, proquest and a series of science websites to find out everything they could about the environmental security system.

And what the covert ops student group discovered was that there was a major flaw in the system.

The flaw was that the gas detection and sensitivity could be momentarily changed from the factory settings using a Jawbone blue tooth mobile phone headset and a Blackberry and iPhone hooked up in series and simultaneously calling a control site in Brazil.

When the whole system was in place and the reset code was sent for the jawbone headset the environmental security system, for 6 minutes, could be set to detect any gas you asked it to look for.

In this case the gas detector was set for high levels of methane gas.

And on cue with Nathaniel and the boys letting their gas rip, and Ms. Shelley walking into the foyer, the deed was done!

As soon as the gas detection system was tripped a school wide alarm was activated and automatically all doors in the school opened.

The entire school was wired so even if Mr. Smith had wanted to keep the door of the detention cave closed to investigate what was going on he had no power to.

As Charles the security guard jumped ran up the front steps of the school Ana got on her snot-talk and screamed, “Charles 12:00 Nathaniel.”

Without looking Nathaniel held up his right hand with the thumbs up signal.

Nathaniel then pulled his harm down into the all right I won again gesture and signaled to his team to disperse.

As if Nathaniel was directing a jet to land he made rapid Frisbee like throwing gestures with his right and left arms.

And into chaotic crowd they vanished.

The Code.

I can’t be sure, but given the way Ms. Shelley wrapper her hand around my ear and pulled, she must have worked on a dairy farm at some point in her career!

Poor cows.

“Young man you are going to have a lot of explaining to do” Ms. Shelley said in what I can only assume was flawless Elizabethan English.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see that there was more action in the hall than usual.

Even Erin was getting into the act and was following along doing a pretty pathetic imitation of Michael Jackson’s moon walk from “Thriller”, as she followed the growing crowd of people parading down the hallway towards my locker.

Word had circulated around the school that there was trouble brewing in the corridor outside room 019 and it was all pointing to locker 2375.

Out of know where the grade 10 jazz ensemble seemed to materialize, instruments in hand, and not only were they there but they were also playing songs to keep people entertained as they waited to see what Ms. Shelley would do to me.

We were 7 feet from the locker, just passing outside the staff toilet when there was a huge explosion and the door was blown clear of its hinges!

Smoke, smell and particles of paper and unidentifiable brownish stuff was sticking to everyone and everything!

Fortunate for me Ms. Shelley, proved to be an ideal shield and I was miraculously untouched by the debris from the explosion in the washroom.

For a second the whole place was silent, it seemed like an hour, and then there was mayhem.

Kevin was standing next to the door wearing a raincoat and signaled to me to run!

Not thinking I attempted to bolt.

“And where do you think you are going”, Ms. Shelley said in a voice that I am pretty sure was that of the evil wicked witch of the west from the Wizard of Oz.

“Oh, uh, I was just going to go and check the washroom to make sure that nobody was hurt”, I said looking at Kevin with that look of despair that says I’ve been busted again!

“Sure you were darling”, Ms. Shelley said with that twisted, scratchy, evil voice of the wicked witch.

“No really I was”, I protested with the most innocent look I could summons up given that the hallway, everyone in it EVEN Ms. Shelley, was covered in what I could only assume was not cake batter.

We stopped in front of my locker and by that time everyone was looking at it and me!

There must have been 500 people crammed into the hallway.

The Jazz band continued to play and there was now even a lady selling ice cream and candy floss walking through the stunned yet excited students, some of whom were getting very smelly as the cake batter substance covering them began to drip and slide down their bodies.

Surprisingly my locker was clean, there was not a single speck of debris on it.

“Young man open the locker”, Ms. Shelley said in anticipation.

Then almost spontaneously, like the explosion Kevin rigged, the crowd began to chant, “op-en-it, op-en-it, op-en-it…”

I removed my lanyard from around my neck and gingerly pushed the key into the slot.

Ms. Shelley was tapping her foot to what I am pretty sure was the tune the jazz band was playing making me think she invited them!

As I turned the key the crowd went silent.

You could have heard a pin drop.

I know you could have heard a pin drop because what I could hear was the sound of droplets of that cake batter like substance splattering to the floor off of Ms. Shelley and pretty much everyone else who was in the hallway.

The droplets falling sounded like rain but had a very different smell.

And the smell was getting stronger and stronger.

The latch of the locker gave way and the door slowly began to fall open.

The crowd was no longer silent but gasping collectively in anticipation.
Even Ms. Shelley was gasping, but I suspect that she was gasping because the increasing smell was minutes away from overcoming her.

I know what you are thinking.

Why would I put Erin’s stuff in my locker!

But I wanted to know why I was the convicted suspect?

It was Abdullah who brought in the pet squirrel and then the fire ants.

And why would I put Erin’s stuff in my locker in the first place?

“Come on speed this up”, Ms. Shelley said.

The jazz band drummer began a tight drum roll and everyone was stretching to get the best possible view of my locker.

As the door swung open there was a collective sigh of disappointment.

Even I was a bit disappointed almost starting to believe myself that somehow I had taken the contents of Erin’s locker and put them in mine.

But there was something odd about my locker and even Ms. Shelley clued into that, although she didn’t let on about it just then.

Just under the hole punch on the front right hand corner of the locker was a scratch mark just like the one in Erin’s locker and this one said 0192ac4d.

“Hmmm… there is something fishy here”, said Ms. Shelley.

“Actually it smells a lot more like fetalizer from a cow…” before I could finish Ms. Shelley shot back “don’t get smart with me I know you are up to something Max I’m watching you.”

And just like that Ms. Shelley was gone the crowd dispersed.

“Where is my stuff”, Erin asked as she walked back to her locker.

It was when she let out another scream and my locker door slammed shut that I knew something was going on.

Erin’s locker was once again full and the scratched code in my locker was gone!

The hand was back on my ear, “to detention darling”, Ms. Shelley said smiling.

My Locker

Today, like every other day, Charles the pseudo security guard, I am onto him, was standing at the gate to the school and he seemed to be looking at me with even more interest than usual.

This could be a very bad day!

Something is up.

One of the surest ways to focus the mind and keep the wrist trim for the mountain of math work we are assigned daily by Mr. Tonneofhomework, I am sure that is the real name that his parents gave him because of his love of forcing us students to consume copious amounts of paper and small sapling trees, to fabricate the dozen or so pencils  and pounds of worskeets each student goes through weekly to prove to Tonneofhomework, that we are not always sleeping when he drones on like a chainsaw being run over by a freight train in the cargo hold of a tugboat, is the old thumb war!

You know my routine and you know that above all I am pretty ordinary.

But one of the things I may have neglected to mention is that I am the reigning thumb war champion of the school!

Ok, we don’t have a thumb war inter school team, yet.

But I am sure one is coming and I am very good!

Think about it for a minute, maybe we need to use thumb wars to choose our student council?

Thumb wars take skill, cunning, advanced sensory perception and above all the ability to see things before they happen!

All of the skills you want in a person who is going to keep you safe from all sorts of things, including the dreaded music class where High School Musical is seen as the bar against which to measure all student talent!

I was told, but like my own story didn’t believe, that there was, and still is, a crack unit of students in my midst who on a daily basis infiltrate the music room and substitute a duplicate, and malfunctioning, DVD for the original High School Musical production.

I thought the story was nothing more than an urban myth until one day I happened upon Ana and Kevin crawling out from behind the soundproof baffles in the main hall of the music studio, and what looked like an A/C vent.
I didn’t even know that that space existed, then again as I have discovered there is a lot I don’t know!

Both Ana and Kevin were wearing climbing gear and black masks I knew then and there that those two were up to something, and I wanted in!

But let me get back to where I was, telling you about my almost supernatural talent as a thumb war athlete.

It is no wonder I discovered this space between the imaginary and real I am literally hyper attuned to my environment!

And that is the reason I win every time I have a thumb war with my Dad.

Except today.

Today was different.

Today like usual, we positioned our hands on the counter beside the bulletin board, between the banks of lockers outside classroom 019 and across form the washrooms and within eyeshot of the staff kitchen.

We started our thumb war as usual and I was all but assured my 234th victory, when I was distracted.

In the 233 times that we have had these thumb wars and that I have proceeded to do the dance of victory, imagine a giant panda standing on one leg with one paw on its toe and another holding a goldfish bowl while playing a small ukulele, that is what I look like each and every time I win!

I even win when my Dad tries to give himself an advantage by covering his thumb in spit, think of a Krispy Kreame regular glazed donut and you get the mental picture that might turn you to dieting, and you know what I mean.

Well on this day there was a note above the washroom that said do not shut the door it sticks, which is odd given that usually you want a bit of privacy in a toilet.

But given that we have a crack team of student-do-good commandos in our midst, Ana and Kevin, nothing is really odd anymore.

Or that Charles the pseudo security guard has been acting strange.

And that there was growing proof of the space between the imaginary and real having some sort of conduit with my school, I was not the least but surprised.

But that sign was not what distracted me, in fact the sign pointed me to the number plate beside the staff kitchen and that number plate was only so slightly crooked.

In fact if I had not taken F1, a course where we were going to build a Formula 1 race car from the pieces we could take from all of the teachers cars in the parking lot without them themselves becoming un roadworthy, until we were stopped by Charles, and learned how to use sophisticated measuring tools and welding equipment I might not have noticed the sign at all!

But the number plate outside the kitchen had never been crooked, ever.

And today the number plate was crooked and pointing ever so slightly at my locker, strange, my locker is exactly 2 meters, 400 millimeters from the kitchen number plate and exactly centered on that plate.

I knew it!

For weeks, since we first came to the school I had been saying that there was something up with my locker.

First they changed the shelves.

Then they greased the hinges.

Then the key was changed.

And finally it was given a clean bill of health by someone named Geyomi!

This person Geyomi must be part of this because why else would he certify a locker by placing his name on the top left hand corner?

Someone said Geyomi was a brand name, a company, the plate was just like the swoosh on your Nikes.

I bought the story until I did some checking.