Locker 2375 c3

Posted on | March 5, 2009 | 3 Comments

Locker 2375 c3

My Locker

Today, like every other day, Charles the pseudo security guard, I am onto him, was standing at the gate to the school and he seemed to be looking at me with even more interest than usual.

This could be a very bad day!

Something is up.

One of the surest ways to focus the mind and keep the wrist trim for the mountain of math work we are assigned daily by Mr. Tonneofhomework, I am sure that is the real name that his parents gave him because of his love of forcing us students to consume copious amounts of paper and small sapling trees, to fabricate the dozen or so pencils  and pounds of worskeets each student goes through weekly to prove to Tonneofhomework, that we are not always sleeping when he drones on like a chainsaw being run over by a freight train in the cargo hold of a tugboat, is the old thumb war!

You know my routine and you know that above all I am pretty ordinary.

But one of the things I may have neglected to mention is that I am the reigning thumb war champion of the school!

Ok, we don’t have a thumb war inter school team, yet.

But I am sure one is coming and I am very good!

Think about it for a minute, maybe we need to use thumb wars to choose our student council?

Thumb wars take skill, cunning, advanced sensory perception and above all the ability to see things before they happen!

All of the skills you want in a person who is going to keep you safe from all sorts of things, including the dreaded music class where High School Musical is seen as the bar against which to measure all student talent!

I was told, but like my own story didn’t believe, that there was, and still is, a crack unit of students in my midst who on a daily basis infiltrate the music room and substitute a duplicate, and malfunctioning, DVD for the original High School Musical production.

I thought the story was nothing more than an urban myth until one day I happened upon Ana and Kevin crawling out from behind the soundproof baffles in the main hall of the music studio, and what looked like an A/C vent.
I didn’t even know that that space existed, then again as I have discovered there is a lot I don’t know!

Both Ana and Kevin were wearing climbing gear and black masks I knew then and there that those two were up to something, and I wanted in!

But let me get back to where I was, telling you about my almost supernatural talent as a thumb war athlete.

It is no wonder I discovered this space between the imaginary and real I am literally hyper attuned to my environment!

And that is the reason I win every time I have a thumb war with my Dad.

Except today.

Today was different.

Today like usual, we positioned our hands on the counter beside the bulletin board, between the banks of lockers outside classroom 019 and across form the washrooms and within eyeshot of the staff kitchen.

We started our thumb war as usual and I was all but assured my 234th victory, when I was distracted.

In the 233 times that we have had these thumb wars and that I have proceeded to do the dance of victory, imagine a giant panda standing on one leg with one paw on its toe and another holding a goldfish bowl while playing a small ukulele, that is what I look like each and every time I win!

I even win when my Dad tries to give himself an advantage by covering his thumb in spit, think of a Krispy Kreame regular glazed donut and you get the mental picture that might turn you to dieting, and you know what I mean.

Well on this day there was a note above the washroom that said do not shut the door it sticks, which is odd given that usually you want a bit of privacy in a toilet.

But given that we have a crack team of student-do-good commandos in our midst, Ana and Kevin, nothing is really odd anymore.

Or that Charles the pseudo security guard has been acting strange.

And that there was growing proof of the space between the imaginary and real having some sort of conduit with my school, I was not the least but surprised.

But that sign was not what distracted me, in fact the sign pointed me to the number plate beside the staff kitchen and that number plate was only so slightly crooked.

In fact if I had not taken F1, a course where we were going to build a Formula 1 race car from the pieces we could take from all of the teachers cars in the parking lot without them themselves becoming un roadworthy, until we were stopped by Charles, and learned how to use sophisticated measuring tools and welding equipment I might not have noticed the sign at all!

But the number plate outside the kitchen had never been crooked, ever.

And today the number plate was crooked and pointing ever so slightly at my locker, strange, my locker is exactly 2 meters, 400 millimeters from the kitchen number plate and exactly centered on that plate.

I knew it!

For weeks, since we first came to the school I had been saying that there was something up with my locker.

First they changed the shelves.

Then they greased the hinges.

Then the key was changed.

And finally it was given a clean bill of health by someone named Geyomi!

This person Geyomi must be part of this because why else would he certify a locker by placing his name on the top left hand corner?

Someone said Geyomi was a brand name, a company, the plate was just like the swoosh on your Nikes.

I bought the story until I did some checking.

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